Importance Of Knowing Your Leadership Orientation

In our executive coaching work we help leaders understand their Current Way of Leading and support  them adopt a New Way of Leading that is more effective in accomplishing their goals and achieving the breakthrough they seek.

A. Relevance to Leadership

Fundamentally, it’s about realizing you greatest leadership potential.  Knowing a leader’s natural orientation helps understand his/her meaning-making system (i.e., how one tends to make meaning of things). One subset of this meaning-making system is how an individual “sees and relates” to other people and situations.  Individuals typically have a ‘primary’ and many times a ‘secondary’ orientation (i.e., the “go-to” or “default” perspective(s) they “see through” in order to relate to people and situations); this shapes and helps define their priorities and preferences, what motivates and inspires them, etc.  Relationally, it is important to not only know one’s own Leadership Orientation but also being able to discern the orientation of others (e.g., colleagues, team members) so as to be able to respond to situations and/or engage with others in a way that leverages opportunities to engage and inspire others towards desired outcomes.

B. Our Integral Leadership Framework

See Figure 1. Our Integral Leadership Framework, based on Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory, captures four key perspectives an individual tends to “see through” in order to make sense of things. The four perspectives are described by:
a) Interior – Exterior Plane: The Interior realm is subjective in that it cannot be directly measured; it relates to inner ‘knowing’, experience, values, feelings, etc. — captured by the Upper Left and Lower Left Quadrants. The Exterior realm is all that can be observed/measured and includes actions, performance outcomes and other observable data – captured by the Upper Right and Lower Right Quadrants.
b) Individual – Collective Plane: The Individual realm is experienced or observed individually (e.g., that which “I” feel, “I” value, “my” priorities; my actions and performance outcomes, etc. – captured by the Top Quadrants; the Collective realm refers to two or more individuals and systems, including your work team, your organization, community, society, etc. – captured by the Lower Quadrants. For instance, the culture of your organization is captured in the Lower Left Quadrant while it’s strategy, systems and processes are captured in the Lower Right Quadrant.

Figure 1 – Integral Leadership Framework

C. The Quadrants Explained

Upper Left (UL) Quadrant – “My Inner Experience”

Individuals who typically see and relate to things from an “Inner Experience” perspective tend to prefer engaging in initiatives that are meaningful to them in some way; they tend to thrive when there is a sense of fit or alignment with one’s own value, priorities and needs. Typical focus/attitude is “Is this meaningful to me?” and “Does this align with my priorities and needs?” At work, they are likely to buy-into and whole-heartedly engage in a new project or initiative when they see a clear sense of purpose in it and feel an affinity for it.

Upper Right (UR) Quadrant – “Actions/Results”

Individuals who typically see and relate to things from an “Actions/Results” perspective tend to prefer engaging in initiatives that have clear direction, roles, performance expectations and timelines and that tasks are readily actionable. Strong ‘doers’, their typical attitude is that “actions speak louder than words” so “let’s get to it” and there is a strong priority placed on accomplishing things. They are comfortable letting “experience be the teacher”. At work, they are likely to buy-into and whole-heartedly engage in a new project or initiative when their role and accountabilities are clear.

Lower Left (LL) Quadrant – “Relationships & Belonging”

Individuals who typically see and relate to things from a “Relational” perspective tend to prefer taking the time necessary to engage with the whole team to understand their perspectives and feel that there is a sense of shared meaning and value. Typical focus/attitude is “Are we all on the same page?” and “the power of WE”. At work, they are likely to buy-into and whole-heartedly engage in a new project or initiative when they feel that everyone is on the same page and that any impact on others has been considered and mitigated.

Lower Right (LR) Quadrant – “The Big Picture”

Individuals who typically see and relate to things from a “Big Picture/Functional Fit” perspective tend to want to be clear about how things fit or flow together; goals, strategy and plans need to be understood and/or worked on as well as how the pieces fit together (i.e., supportive structures, systems and processes). Typical focus/attitude is on “How does this align with our organization’s goals and direction”? and “Do we have the right support mechanisms?” At work, they are likely to buy-into and whole-heartedly engage in a new project or initiative when they feel that there is clear direction in place and the right support structures and plans have been considered and are being (will be) addressed.

Fundamentally,
• Most people favour and see through primarily one or two perspective(s) at the exclusion of the others (i.e., their blind spots) which not only limits potential success but it can also lead to unintended negative consequences.
• Including and engaging in ALL perspectives provides the best chance at realizing your greatest leadership potential.

Contact Us:

For further information or to have a free consultation about your leadership development needs, please feel free to contact us: https://www.businessintegral.com/contact

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Resources

• The Integral Leadership & Management Framework by Dr. Ron Cacioppe
(https://www.businessintegral.com/approach/integral-leadership-management-framework/)
• Wilber, Ken (1996): A Brief History of Everything
• Our Approach – The Integral Model: (https://www.businessintegral.com/approach/the-integral-model/)
• Why Become A Mindful Leader?
(https://www.businessintegral.com/why-become-a-mindful-executive/)
• Conscious Leadership: What is it and why should you care?
(https://www.businessintegral.com/conscious-leadership-what-is-it-why-should-you-care/)
• Feel free to peruse our selected list of articles, books and videos in our Resources tab here:
(https://www.businessintegral.com/resources/)

Conscious Leadership: What Is It & Why Should You Care?

Much these days has been talked about in business circles about the need to take a more conscious approach in how leaders conduct business.  This includes how they are in relationship with customers, employees, suppliers, their community and the environment.  There is much more widespread recognition that focusing on profit alone is too narrow a view.

Yet profit matters. Without financial resources, a company cannot afford to pay its employees who cannot afford to support their families. Without financial resources, a company cannot invest in R&D, cannot continue to invest in its growth and development – not even the growth and development of its people. Staying focused on profitability is a good thing.

But what else is there? Could something beyond profits be also important? How about the view that profit is an outcome of a much bigger pursuit? What is your bigger pursuit?

What is it that deeply matters to you above and beyond the organization/team you are in charge of? How will you pursue what deeply matters to you? Does this include more than satisfying the Board/investors by making more profit than the previous Quarter? How do you satisfy them as well as satisfy your need to be in service in a much bigger/broader/deeper way? What if you and the Board shared this broader view of ‘business’?

These are the kinds of questions/considerations that a Conscious Leader will be focused on and be engaged in satisfying.

Conscious Leaders engage in Conscious Leadership by way of who they are, how they see things, how they make meaning of things, what they stand for, their ability to be both strong and compassionate, both long-term focused and present moment attentive, both innovative and rigorous as needed, etc. Yet they are not super-human or super-machine. They are who they are and they know it and they are not afraid to show it. If they don’t know something or have made a mistake, they’ll be the first to admit it. That kind of leader.

In fact, these kinds of Conscious Leaders who led their respective Conscious Businesses such as Whole Foods, Southwest Airlines, Costco, Caterpillar and others outperformed the S&P500 by more than 1500% over a 15-year period (1996-2011) Source: Updated data originally published in Sisioda, R, Wolfe, DB & Sheth JN: Firms of Endearment: How World-Class Companies Profit from Passion and Purpose.Pearson Prentice Hall, 2007

Conscious Leaders have a Way of Leading in service of making their organization, community and the world a better place.

Conscious Leaders are keenly aware and awake to:

  • Themselves — who they are, what they stand for; how much of that is similar and different than others in their circle of influence;
  • What they wish to accomplish beyond ego needs;
  • How they can extend themselves just a little every day beyond their comfort zone in pursuit of a purpose bigger than themselves and/or their company’s profit-making;
  • How to be in service of who/what they consider to be important.
  • Who else are they able to include in serving the ‘cause’ because those other people are aligned, inspired and want to be in service in their own unique way.

Energy-In-Motion: How Your Emotions Can Inform & Guide Your Key Decisions

After working with several key executive clients on this challenge recently, I am reminded and inspired to write about the important role that emotions can play when faced with key decisions.

While much has been written and said about the need for leaders to tap into intuition and deal creatively with ever-increasing complex situations, not much has been said about HOW to actually go about building the personal/leadership capacities to help with that.

Most business leaders and professionals in our western culture are systematically conditioned to control and even avoid/deny our emotions in the way we conduct ourselves in general and in the way we approach important decisions, in particular. How often have we heard or even said to someone else: “don’t let your emotions get in the way” or “you’re too emotional” or “if you want to go far in this company, you have to learn how to let things bounce off you”.

This way of looking at emotions often strikes fear into us as professionals with the predictable response that shows up in our ‘Way of Leading/Being” which is to hide how we truly feel to the point where we sometimes don’t even know what we feel anymore. But that’s OK we tell ourselves because the best decisions are based on sound logic founded on sound methodical analysis and reasoning. And this is where I say: “True, but partial” (i.e., incomplete; leaves important stuff out!). So in this article we look at a sampling of a leader’s situation where utilizing energy as energy-in-motion significantly increased leadership effectiveness.

Client Case Profile
• Senior professional with extensive business experience
• Subject matter expert in her field
• Has received several promotions for this technical expertise
• Sits on several professional/association boards and committees
• Has received feedback from peers that she is too rigid and structured in making decisions, often preferring to make decisions to difficult issues on her own with limited consultation with peers/team members
• This does not mean that she does not hold regular team meetings; on the contrary, she regularly asks for discussion and solicits opinion but seems to have limited capacity to receive it openly and certainly does not utilize it when one looks at the actual decisions made by her.

In working with this client, the Topic first presented as needing to be accomplished was: “How to make more effective decisions”.

Exploring this ‘need’ further, it became apparent that the real challenge was her difficulty with (strong) emotions (her own as well as the emotions of others). As soon as the conversations aroused emotion such as when they included potential for controversy or conflict, this leader immediately went into secret shut-down mode. She had become so crafty at managing (hiding) this challenge that she did not give off much indication of this emotional ‘constriction’. On the outside, she seemed very composed and professional. Over time, this adversely affected her team’s ability to contribute to key decisions. As a consequence, some of her key decisions were less than optimal and her team was rendered ineffective and dysfunctional.

What We Uncovered
What this client discovered was that she had an underlying (false) belief that essentially went something like this: “Emotions are the enemy”. This belief translated into a Way of Leading/Being that meant “I never lose my head” and “I always maintain my composure come hell or high water”… “I will not drown with the rest of them”…

So when the metaphorical water got turbulent and murky, she quickly ran to the high water to save herself from the embarrassment of falling and being swept away. She cared about the others along the river bank but knew that she had to save herself first before she could attempt to save them. This meant that she essentially acted alone when, at crucial times, others needed to be seen and heard (‘saved’).

A Taste of the Developmental Work

A key break-through for this client was seeing how she treated emotions as the enemy (to be avoided or kept at bay) and at the same time learning to tap into and utilize emotions as simply “energy-in-motion”. That is, energy arises and falls within/through our body all the time. We can feel excited, afraid, angry, confused, joyful, sad, ‘high’, ‘low’, spent, etc. If we label how we are feeling as “spent”, for instance, what does th is mean if we view it as simply energy-in-motion? How about that “my energy level right now is low and I need to rest and recover” versus I push and push and push through only to do it again tomorrow on a few hours of sleep. This statement highlights at least two critical capacities: 1) awareness, and 2) appropriate response. I need to tune into the fact that I have low energy in the moment and then I must be able to make the correct choice(s) that allow me to replenish, bringing the energy back up again.

1. Building Awareness
First I had the client observe her hidden belief in action over the course of a number of days according to specific instructions for how to go about doing that. Along the way, she answered pertinent reflection questions designed to draw out her way of making meaning of things and to discover the extent to which her underlying belief system was translating into how she went about conducting herself in relationship to her Topic of concern. With this observational exercise and subsequent awareness building practices/questions, she saw the extent to which her Current Way of Being/Leading was responsible for her current challenge.

2. Building Capacity
One of the tenets of our leadership development work is that “insight is necessary but not typically sufficient for sustainable change”. Therefore, at the same time as we help to build awareness, we focus on cultivating the capacities (“muscles”) necessary for change to be sustained.

As an example, one of the exercises this client undertook was to be able to tune into and name the emotion(s) arising for her at the moment that she was starting to feel constricted or feeling defensive. At first, she struggled to simply name the emotion (afraid, excited, angry, etc.). Over time, she was able to express herself in a way that was grounded, present and true to her needs, priorities and concerns while at the same time engage with her executive team in a way that allowed them to feel and be valuable contributors.

Outcomes
More effective decision making, increased team engagement, increased energy, greater work-life balance.

Making Change Stick: A Holistic Approach to Successful Change Initiatives

As change leaders and practitioners, how many times have you heard: “A Lot of Change … But Nothing Changes!”  The long-standing cliché that “change is the only constant” is never more applicable than in today’s business world of ever-increasing uncertainty, complexity, volatility and ambiguity.   Even when the stakes aren’t so high and the context not so uncertain, change is difficult.  So how can leaders navigate this challenging landscape successfully? 

Organizations have responded to these challenges by restructuring, acquiring other companies, downsizing, outsourcing, hiring staff on a contract basis, using workplace agreements or introducing processes such as Six Sigma, empowerment programs, activity-based costing and other changes to improve the way the organization works.  And yet, many of these changes either do not work or do not last.

A number of reasons for the failures of change programs have been given: lack of senior management commitment, lack of clarity of vision and specific objectives, introducing too many changes, too many different approaches to the change, lack of employee involvement, poor methods of evaluation or lack of demonstration of results.

An Integral Framework for Successful Change

While there have been many models for change, they tend to focus on one or two disciplines such as a systems approach to change or culture change.  Few if any of the typical approaches are able to include ALL of the main perspectives/dimensions of successful change.   Integral Theory, developed by Ken Wilber, provides a comprehensive methodology that includes all dimensions of change. 

Diagram 1 below shows the four key considerations to bringing about successful/lasting change:

  • ·         Intentional  — The personal subjective experience
  • ·         Cultural — The interpersonal, shared meaning and values
  • ·         Behavioural The observable behaviours and measurable outcomes
  • ·         Systems — The organization’s structural, technical and support systems and their interconnection. 

Diagram 1: Integral Four Quadrants of Change

One of the basic tenets of the Integral Framework is that ALL quadrants (perspectives) must be considered and attended to for sustainable change to occur.  For any change to stick, each of the four quadrants must shift. 

For example, if an organization restructures (makes Systems change – Lower Right Quadrant) but individuals do not personally change their attitudes or believe in the change (i.e., no shift in Upper Left Quadrant) and the culture remains the same (no shift in Lower Left Quadrant), the change will be only a diagram on a piece of paper.  If managers attend a skills enhancement program (i.e., the Upper Right Quadrant) but the performance appraisal system (i.e., Lower Right Quadrant) is not re-calibrated and nothing is done to cultivate a culture that encourages peak performance (Lower Left Quadrant), then the money spent on the program has gone to waste.

 All quadrants must be considered if a change is to succeed.  In fact, many times change efforts using the latest methods and processes fail or fall short of expectations NOT because the approaches themselves are not useful or valid but because they are partial.  That is, they address one or two of these quadrants or perspectives of change at the expense or exclusion of the other key considerations for success.  

Using the Integral Framework, Change Leaders and Practitioners are able to situate the various change theories and approaches and determine the most comprehensive solutions for sustainable change to occur.  At a time when organizations are trying to implement so much change, the Integral perspective provides both the compass and map to ensure that individuals, teams and organizations get to where the change is supposed to take them.

Why Become a Mindful Leader?

This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” ― Alan Watts

You cannot manage other people unless you manage yourself first.” – Peter F. Drucker

Arianna Huffington, founder of The Huffington Post, recently published an article about mindfulness and its connection to the corporate bottom line which generated a lot of buzz in the online community. As Integral Leadership Coaches and mindful leadership practitioners, we always appreciate when our craft and industry are discussed in mainstream media by influential public figures. In today’s business environment, where complexity, ambiguity and uncertainty rule the day, we see mindful leadership as an essential part of being more effective and satisfied in work and life. To have that philosophy endorsed by today’s business leaders is very gratifying and essential to our work.

As it happens, my personal mindfulness practice deepened in 2007 when I was CEO of a fast growing internet company and my leadership capacity benefited from it quickly and in countless ways.  That’s one of the reasons I am so excited to see this practice rapidly gaining popularity among other business leaders as well.

Productivity rests on focused human attention.” – Dr. Jeremy Hunter, Peter F. Drucker Graduate School of Management

So why become a Mindful Leader?  Leading, independent experts on mindfulness, Maria Gonzales and Jon Kabat-Zinn, believe the following reasons are key:

  • To see things the way they really are
  • To pay attention non-judgementally in the present moment

Wouldn’t you agree that high capacity in the above competencies would be incredibly valuable for any business leader? How about for anyone?

When adding the below facts to this, even the most skeptical of minds tend to, at the very least, become curious about mindfulness:

  • Companies like Google, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Apple, Intel, Medium, Starbucks and General Mills have become advocates of the value of this practice to their business and leadership development, and some have even developed their own programs (perhaps most notable Google’s “Search Inside Yourself”-program created by Chade-Meng Tan with support from CEO Larry Page)
  • The benefit of mindfulness has been praised by high-profile leaders such as Evan Williams (Twitter co-founder), Arianna Huffington (President of The Huffington Post), William Ford (of Ford Motor Company), Bill George (Harvard Professor in leadership/management and former CEO of Meditronic), Mark Bertolini (CEO of Aetna), Bob Shapiro (formerly CEO of Monsanto), Salesforce.com’s Marc Beniof, and the late Steve Jobs of Apple
  • An increasing number of professors at some of the most prestigious schools in the world, such as Harvard, Stanford, MIT and Peter F. Drucker School of Management, are proponents of mindfulness training for business leaders and executives

Our findings indicate that a short training program in mindfulness meditation has demonstrable effects on brain and immune function.” – Professor Richard Davidson, University of Wisconsin

It has been said that if meditation (which we are referring to as “formal” mindfulness training for the purposes of this article) existed in pill form, it would be in everyone’s medicine cabinet. The challenge is that, like physical exercise, mindfulness and meditation practice is something we have to engage in consistently by consciously devoting attention and energy to it over time. In fact, and contrary to conventional belief, mindfulness and mindful leadership can be said to be all about full engagement.

Interestingly, this is where many people tend to lose interest. Perhaps “full engagement” sounds too exhausting, but in my experience nothing could be further from the truth. Full engagement is about being fully present, to be total in what you do, whatever it is. The good news is that we all have this innate capacity and it can be further cultivated in anyone through regular practice. Seemingly, it’s well worth the effort. Also in my own experience, with patience and over time, things in general become increasingly effortless, including the practice itself.

In addition, many mindfulness and meditation practitioners report that the practice has made them more sensitive yet less emotionally reactive. How can this be possible? When we practice meditation we become more adept at simply staying present to what is without springing into action or taking our interpretations as absolute truth. Instead we bare witness to whatever arises in our awareness regardless of how we think and feel about it (e.g. thinking something bad is happening and feeling like running away or numbing out but instead choosing to remain still, present and connected). This builds real inner strength. Also, with time and practice, we see that our “problems” are largely not created by external events and situations (as it so often seems at first glance) but instead originate in conditioned, habitual and unconscious reactions. The reaction is the real problem – not the trigger. This gives Mindful Leaders more power to generate productive and effective action along with increased capacity for remaining grounded, connected and response-able in situations where others may fall victim to unproductive knee-jerk reactions (often despite their best intentions). This is of immense value for everyone involved but, perhaps most importantly, it creates greater happiness, freedom and power.

“In all activities of life, the secret of efficiency lies in an ability to combine two seemingly incompatible states: a state of maximum activity and a state of maximum relaxation.” – Aldous Huxley

So, what can you do to become a more Mindful Leader right now?

  • Throughout your day take a minute to stop whatever you are doing, sit back and center your attention on your breath. This means really feeling your breath. For each in-breath feel your body coming alive and with each out-breath let go of everything.
  • Practice being fully present whether you are listening to a team member, working on a strategic plan, thinking (this may sound paradoxical but there is a vast difference between mindful thinking versus compulsive and unconscious thinking), or preparing for a presentation. Simply give whatever you are doing your full attention.
  • Hire a coach that provides Mindful Leadership Coaching (this demands a long-standing personal mindfulness practice)
  • Read one or more of our favorite books or articles or watch a video on leadership and meditation/mindfulness at work (see list below)

Books

Articles

Videos

Aetna CEO Mark Bertolini speaking about mindfulness and leadership at a Wisdom 2.0 conference (6:34 min):

How legendary NBA Coach Phil Jackson taught his teams mindfulness (4:50 min):

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”- Lao Tzu

From Good To Great Communication: What the latest skills workshops can’t offer – Part 2

Recall from our ‘From Good To Great Communication Part 1 Article the distinction made by Ron Heifetz from Harvard between adding new skills or techniques to the same “skills bucket” (Informative learning) vs. re-shaping/expanding the ‘container’ (Transformative learning).

The way we describe this to our clients is to picture going to the latest communications skills workshop where you acquire important knowledge on “active listening”, for instance.  This is great but then when you return to the office, you are still the same person.  You haven’t acquired the capacity to implement the “new way” of communicating.  People grasp this challenge very easily because they have experienced the distinction first-hand.

So let’s expand on the personal capacities needed to communicate in a “new way” that we first outlined in a previous article … which you are not likely to receive from a communication skills workshop.

  1.  Patience — the ability not to interrupt, especially when you disagree with what is being said

Many might view patience as a virtue that can’t be cultivated.  However, in our communication example here the focus is on that particular capacity not to interrupt  “especially when you disagree” with what you are hearing and/or in the way it is being communicated…

As I’m sure you have experienced yourself, one of the hardest tests of patience is feeling that “blood boiling” point when you just have to jump in to correct the other person, set them straight, or at the very least show them that they are wrong!  This temptation gets only stronger when the person(s) is obviously acting out of complete ignorance or is politically motivated to push their agenda/opinion.

Typical response:  You jump in and match or exceed their tone/delivery to make YOUR point of disagreement penetrate as quickly and sharply as possible.  Drawing from your experience with such encounters, notice what typically happens at this point.  Your aggressive response will in turn produce a further aggressive posture in the other person.  The battle ground is now, in an instant, fully formed and alive with sparks flying back and forth.

Is this exemplary leadership?  No.        Does it happen frequently?  Yes.

2.  Open and receptive mind — not thinking about what you will say next as you are pretending to listen ; in Zen circles, this is called listening with “an empty cup”

This capacity is about genuinely listening to understand the other person’s point of view.   This requires you to be attentive without judging what you are hearing in the moment.  It means listening with a ‘quiet’ mind with adequate ‘space’ for the information to sink into.  Contrast this with an active mind saying: “I can’t believe what I’m hearing … this is ridiculous … there s/he goes again…”   This inner voice dialogue then immediately tries to come up with what you will counter before that person is finished.  In fact, you have stopped listening at this point and are now actively focusing on your response: who cares what else s/he is saying?

A major self-check to see if you are listening with an open and receptive mind:

    • At the end of your listening, do you understand both what is being said as well as where the person is coming from?  That is, how are they viewing this situation/point such that they are taking this view and are delivering it this way?
    • To what extent can you accurately repeat back everything they have just said?
    • To what extent do you know how much you have missed or didn’t quite understand and can pin-point what you wish to clarify?

3.  Presence – genuine interest in the other person right here right now without losing focus

Similar to Point 2 above, are you maintaining clear focus and a genuine interest in the other person in this very moment … fresh … without judgment … as though you were talking to this person for the first time?  This requires curiosity and openness on your part.   Versus the voice in your head that says: “I’ve heard this before … I see what s/he is trying to do … this is a waste of time … I’m gonna put a stop to this right now”.

The key to staying present is being mindful of any triggers that pop up as the other person is speaking (not to mention the trigger(s) leading up to the exchange).   From a place of awareness, let  the triggers arise (there is no point in denying them) without allowing them to draw you out of ‘receive’ mode… without letting the trigger be the master and you the slave.

4.  “Open/Receptive” body posture – what is your body language saying such that communication is impacted positively

I recall many first meetings with clients who wanted/needed to improve their communication capacities.  They would sit in what I refer to as a “closed” posture.  They often sat at an angle with one shoulder pointing toward me as well as looking down with their chest collapsed inward.  I just knew that, if it wasn’t so obvious, they would have preferred to have their arms crossed too.  Instead, their legs were crossed!

An open posture is when your shoulders are not drawn forward and you are not “hunched over”, you are ‘square’ to the other person, your chest is open and slightly forward, you are not ‘fidgety’ and you are looking at the person with attention and curiosity.

One of the biggest benefits for these clients was getting them to realize a) the difference between “open” vs. “closed” posture, b) their existing body posture, c) the impact of posture on their ability to more effectively engage/communicate.

5.  Emotional capacity — How is your energy level being maintained throughout?  What cues are you sending out?  What cues are you receiving from others?  How can this awareness cultivate the quality of the exchange?

Have you noticed how some people seem to maintain an even keel even when pressed aggressively by the other person(s)?   You might want to jump up and scream whereas these people are not phased at all in the face of the same situation/exchange.

As you know, emotional awareness has been described over the past decade as Emotional Intelligence (EQ) by Dan Goleman.  More recently, Social Intelligence (SQ) has been added as important.  Further to this, I refer to the capacity to feel into your energy flow moment by moment as well as the energy flow of others (e.g, people in a meeting room).  People with high Emotional Capacity can ‘feel’ how everyone is doing as they enter the meeting room.   They are keenly aware of what cues their energy is sending out and they are able to receive and process the energy of others.  Can you imagine what kind of positive impact this could have on a leader’s ability to establish deep connections with others?   How about their ability to inspire others because they are able to decipher where they are at?  What piques their interest?  What others are passionate about?  Etc.

How about you?  What cues are you sending out in your communication exchanges?  What are you able to pick up from others?  What are some of the things you can easily work on to radically improve your Emotional Capacity?

Cultivating These Capacities

As I’m sure you have noticed in the above summary, these personal capacities are all integrated and important to one another.  For example, it is difficult to cultivate patience without also working at becoming more mindfully present through practice work that enables a more open and receptive mind, body and heart.  Cultivating a more open/receptive body posture can be a great starting point for developing emotional maturity for some people.  For others, a different starting point may be more appropriate.

Something You Can Try On Your Own:

In each of your personal exchanges over the next week,

  1.  Pay attention to the extent to which your posture is generally ‘closed’ vs. ‘open’.  Make a conscious effort to maintain an open posture when you engage with others as well as when you sit at your desk and when you walk to-and-from meetings.
  2. Also, when you are about to engage in a conversation with someone, consciously inhale once slowly into the abdomen and exhale.  View this as you being “ready” to engage openly and without pre-judgement.

See if you notice a difference in the quality of your listening/exchanges after you have been following this practice for a few days to a week.

Good simple sources:

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler (2002)

Practicing The Sacred Art of Listening: A Guide To Enrich Your Relationships and Kindle Your Spiritual Life, Kay Lindhal (2009)

Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind: Informal talks on Zen meditation and practice, Shunryu Zuzuki, (1970)

Joseph Zepedeo, M.Sc. , Certified Integral Master Coach™

Founder and President of The Integral Business Leadership Group, Joseph  has over 30 years of experience as a consultant and executive coach bringing about transformational change and development at the individual, team and organizational levels.

He is adept at working with complex challenges, leading teams, consensus building and developing creative yet pragmatic solutions for lasting results. As a highly skilled Executive Coach, Joseph is passionate about helping people make the shift to a new way of leading for peak performance.

He has been described as “an extremely intuitive, insightful and skilled coach. His ability to be fully present, to listen deeply, and to guide the process with compassion and respect, creates a safe environment where real transformation can take place”.  Connect with Joseph on LinkedIn, Via email or Twitter.